I love him but I’m just too shy…

I love him but I’m just too shy

-(Anonymous)

10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the boy next to me. He was my so called “best friend”. I stared at his silky hair, and wished he was mine. But he didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, he walked up to me and asked me for the notes he had missed the day before and handed them to him. He said “thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell him, I want him to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love him but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

11th grade

The phone rang. On the other end, it was him. He was in tears, mumbling on and on about how his love had broke his heart. He asked me to come over because he didn’t want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to him on the sofa, I stared at his soft eyes, wishing he was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, he decided to go to sleep. He looked at me, said “thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love him but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

Senior year

The day before prom he walked to my locker. “My date is sick” he said; he’s not going to go well, I didn’t have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as “best friends”. So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, he was standing at our front door step! I stared at him as he smiled at me and stared at me with his crystal eyes. I want him to be mine, but se isn’t think of me like that, and I know it. Then he said “I had the best time, thanks!” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love him but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

Graduation Day

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as his perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted him to be mine, but he didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, he came to me in his smock and hat, and cried as I hugged him. Then he lifted his head from my shoulder and said, “you’re my best friend, thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love him but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

A Few Years Later

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That boy is getting married now. I watched him say “I do” and drive off to his new life, married to another woman. I wanted him to be mine, but he didn`t see me like that, and I knew it. But before he drove away, he came to me and said “you came!”. He said “thanks” and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love him but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

Funeral

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a boy who used to be my “best friend”. At the service, they read a diary entry he had wrote in his high school years. This is what it read:
I stare at her wishing she was mine, but she doesn’t notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why. I wish she would tell me she loved me!
I wish I did too… I thought to my self, and I cried.